The last but not least

I was aiming for silver in napfa. But that damn 2.4run totally ruined it. And i thought i could even get gold based on my 5 items. It was 17.20 or nothing. and oh great. It turned out 18.08. Kaboom. Zap. Nada. Nothing. And that's like one less thing to hold me back. All those months of trainings all gone to waste. Just like that. Well, i guess i did slim down a little. But still kind of chubby. It still shucks. The sweet bitter taste. I hate it. So fake. Never had a real taste of it.

And then you had to go and do all these. Adding to all my damn emotions i can't seems to get stable. One after another. Never thought i was there all along. Just coming and going for all you care. Like my mere existence was nothing. Or even better. A disgust to be near of. Never came unless you needed something and i was like the last resort. How much more egoistic can you get? Even implied for me to give up. Yeah. You got it. I gave up. Happy? And stop playing with my feelings and make up your mind. For once the last one break. I ain't turning back.

I can tell you this now. It's breaking. The chain. And I can't damn wait.

And for freaking goodness sake. I'm not referring to any damn ass jerk/guy or whatever. I'm not that romantically involved in anything of just yet and i don't want to in the near future either. I'm talking here about that damn F thing that i just can't understand. Couldn't even grasp a little of it. It's all just illusion i guess. Like it was never even there.

You could have guessed at least. That something was wrong. But no. You did not. Or maybe, you just ignored. I don't really care about it now though. I guess i knew from the start it was never going to work out. Somewhere there in my subconscious mind. But i still held on. t was never meant to be like this. Not one sided but two way around. But still, i don't think it can happen. Since it was never there, yeah? I dare you to prove me wrong. Which i don't think is ever going to happen, right?

Anyway. I'm making a lot of guesses today. I know. I should just ask and make all these clear and spare myself the emotional stress. But to hell with it. Call me a coward or anything. I seriously don't give a damn after all that happen. And i am guessing again now. This might be my last post here with this blog still public. I suppose i am not going to post anything else again before i make it private. I mean. it's no use. Posting when you can't say all you want. Its always parts and pieces. No meaning at all. Maybe i should just consider the traditional way again. And buy a lock to keep probing hands and eyes OUT.

HEY! People. SAY! People. 1, 2, 3. Let's JUMP!!!!! -moments`unlocked @ 2:43 PM

Tobira no Mukou by Hey! Say! JUMP

Miie

The name is Desiree
19th July
Another complicated human being

Wishings

Learn guitar or drum
Surfing
A new room
Day Dream come true >.<
DREAMS COME TRUE!
Buy the whole series of Prince of Tennis♥
Buy HSM3 xD
Buy MNSB♥
JUMP Rocks! ♥ xD
o(^(00)^)o

That Tiny Voice in Your Gut

The outside's world



lkyann+ lkyann+ Yue Ching+

Huai Tian+ Qian Yi+ Guru+ Hadi+ Jia Hui+ Jafred+ Jeffrey+ Jasmine+ Kelly+ Ming Zhen+ Nat+ Pearlin+ Sally+ Shahid+ Shili+ Sijian+ Vinnie+ Wei Kang+

Jonathan+ Rebekah+

Xue Qi+ Kai Ling

Cheng Yung+ Wen Chien+ Juan Ning+ Fiona+ Lydia+ Wei Kher+

CAL+

class blog [Class of 1D Wonders] [Class of 2D Toddlers] + friend

Those Moments That Forms My Memories

May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
May 2009
July 2009

!&CREDITS

Designer; vivienne
Image; self drawn
Brushes; Inobscuro
Fonts; Dafont

Songs